"I'm Not Crazy I'm Just a Little Unwell."

Subject:	:o(
Time:	2:32 am.
Mood:	lonely.

Matt just started wrestling with me like we always do, for whatever reason, every night when we say goodnight. I started thinking about how upset it'd make Duckie and how she'd bark at him and stuff and now I can't stop crying. I miss my dog! I want her back! Its not fair! Why'd my dog have to die? I know she was sick but it hurts so much. I almost wish she would have never come to me. I don't want this pain! I'll be fine then all the sudden I cry. I HATE this! I-JUST-WANT-MY-DOG-BACK!!!! I started purging again. Just all the sudden, like a light switched on all the sudden I just purged one day and I haven't stopped. I have no reason to get up and do anything anymore. I'm horribly sad. I can't take life now. I had her to make me happy and now I have nothing. I know I do but I feel so empty. Y'all don't understand how she was like my whole life while I had her. Like I spent all my energy concentrating on loving my dog. I have her face on my purse even. She was like my everything and now she's gone and there's NOTHING. I'm so so so horribly sad and it won't go away and I don't know how to make it go away. My heart is BREAKING. I want to die.
The ONLY one "good" thing that's happened, is that, my in-laws contractor brought me a box the other day and said "Dr. Gassaway asked me to bring this to you" The box said "james" something on it but had "Duchess Fritsche" on the lable too. We opened it up and its a black urn with Duckie in it. I'm so grateful to him, I can't even say in words how grateful I am that he did that for me! He is the most amazing person. I know he cared about her and he cares about Matt and I.
I think Imma jazz up the urn with some Swarski crystals or something. Yanno, like, just put her name on it. Maybe like Jan 7, 2004 - June 17, 2009. I think that'd work. I donno, it just needs somethin yanno?

make me arph

Subject:	Two Moon Junction
Time:	2:44 am.
Mood:	depressed.

When I was about 14, after my mom left, we were really poor. We'd get our electricity shut off all the time and we'd have to get help paying it from a local Catholic church (they also found my dad the job he's had for the past 20yrs now). We're not even Catholic n never went to church there, not even ONCE! They also used to give us food and later helped me get things for my oldest child Catherine when I got pregnant. Anyway, I'm getting WAY OFF TRACK here lol. There was this lil general type store in my lil hometown. The sort of place you'd think was straight out a an old western movie. They had EVERYTHING and ANYTHING you'd need to live almost. Groceries, fresh eggs and meat, gas, some fabrics and clothing, parts for your car or tractor, feed for your livestock, GUNS (of coarse lol), etc etc. They also had lines of credit so we could get anything we needed and pay for it whenever we had the money. Who does that anymore right? One of the cool things they had was a video rental section. (actually when I look back the place wasn't very big to have so many things!) Sometimes my dad would bring me home cutesy lil teeny bopper films to watch. They kept me busy and I always enjoyed them. Sometimes though he'd bring home a movie that I positively could not for the life of me figure out WTF he was thinking. Two Moon Junction was one of those movies. While it had an "R" rating there was full female AND MALE nudity! I LOVED that movie! LMAO Not because it had nudity but because it was good. I donno if anyone else liked it just because it was a good movie though. It also had Milla Jovovich in it n I always loved her. It really was a cool movie. Anyway, just thought of it as I'm laying here unable to sleep, missing my dog and watching some bad movie (Nightwaves) on Lifetime with Sherilyn Fenn.

( I'm going to whine about my dead dog now )

make me arph

Subject:	Writer's Block: Call Me
Time:	2:34 am.
Mood:	anxious.

Do you still use a landline at home, or do you rely completely on your cell phone?

View 502 Answers

We only have cell phones in my house. I have TWO cell phones (both for personal use) One for (data) texting, internet, email and IM's (I can also talk on it but I HATE talking on THAT phone which is why I have...) a SECOND phone to TALK ON. Both have unlimited talk and texting but my data phone has unlimited data. My daughter has the same data phone I have as her (only) phone and my hubby has just a plain old flip phone. No land line for ages! Internet and home security is thru the cable company. It takes the need for a landline out completely. The only bad thing is if I need to call 911 they don't know where I am. I've registered my address thru my cell company so if I do ever need to call I might have a better chance of living because they have my addy on file. But, my home alarm system has a key fob with a panic botton on it wahoo! Can you tell I'm paranoid? lol

make me arph

Subject:	Why is god punishing me?
Time:	2:58 am.
Mood:	crushed.

I have lost a lot lately. It seems it all has happened since I decided to give god another shot. All this god does is TAKE and TAKE. I'm DONE! DONE DONE DONE!

I loved you from the moment I saw you. You were playful and shy at the same time. I remember how skiddish you were for the longest time and how any lil noise would make you jump 10ft in the air. How we laughed and laughed. How you eventually realized no one would ever hurt you again. I loved how you greated me every moring with you're cute lil meow. I loved how you were ALWAYS the first to greet me at the door every time I came home. I loved your chunky body, your big bones, your huge paws and gianormous eyes! I loved the swirls on your side. I loved how you were so big but your voice totally reminded me of Mike Tyson. I loved how you let me bathe you every week and never complained or tried to bite me, scratch me or ANYTHING. Though I only got to have you in my life for a short 7 years, I loved every minute of that time with you. You've been a very good kitty and your family will miss you so very much. I'm so sorry that I couldn't make you better. I'm so sorry that we made you go thru surgery and it didn't help. I hope that you didn't suffer too much. I hope we did the right thing. I wish I knew if you thought I made the right decission this morning (sat morning) when I took you to the ER. I hope I did it right. I will miss you my lil bowling ball Buddah boy! I love you Lunar I love you so much. I hope you forgive me for not seeing that you were sick sooner. I'm so sorry I'm soo so sorry! :o( I hope you loved the life we gave you as much as we loved having you in our lives. Even if only for such a short time. You will be missed so much. Way more than you probably know.
I'm also sorry I don't have a better pic to memorialize you by but since I don't have a comp right now this was the best I could do buddy.

Lunar Graystack Melville
2002-2009

I hope your havin a great time wherever you are now. Chasing birds, mice and lizzards. Playing with Thomas, Smog, Runkus, and ZZ. Say "hi" for me! Love you n miss you lots already my Luna Goona! :o*

6 added lbs ‡ make me arph

Subject:	I'm totally confused...
Time:	4:11 am.
Mood:	confused.

I thought Drs. want you to NOT have EDs?? Why would my dr basically tell me to become anoretic?

Ok so after my surgery I went to my first follow-up the other day. He basically has said to me that I don't really have an option this time and I am being told I HAVE to be like 10lbs UNDERWEIGHT by this time next year. Period, end of story, no ifs ands or buts! He didn't offer any help except to eat under a thousand cals a day for a while to start with. Swell! What about the time that comes AFTER the while after I start? I'm not gonna weigh 80lbs overnight! Do these drs make it so my insurance will pay to have these massive amounts of nasty floppy skin hangin all over Imma have? They damn well better get rid of that shit! I'm NOT walking around lookin like I need to be stuffed back into some silly putty egg somewhere!!!! UGH!!! Matt brought me home a thing on gastric banding I'm kinda interested in. I've known several people who did that and it worked (n still works) for them super well. They didn't get staph n die so I'm cool with that fo sho!

I donno what to do? I can't afford a personal trainer to baby sit me and a nutritionist to cook for me either. I needa breast redux too so I figure... I'll just GET the LapBand then have my excess boobs, tummy and leg skins removed laters. I figure my insurance would cover it like everyone elses *shrug*

3 added lbs ‡ make me arph

Subject:	104
Time:	10:21 pm.
Mood:	sick.

I'm floating in the abyss. With a fluffy cloud as my bed and my many cloud pillows. Duchess beside me, the ever vigilant, faithful friend she is. We drift thru stories about Andrew Jackson, Martin Luther King Jr, Obama, something about ducks and planes, heros landing in water. People come and go. "Mommy, I made you a picture." "Dear, take this, drink that, go back to sleep." "I called to check on you." Will I remember it later? I'm dizzy... maybe delirious? I remember this feeling once before. I was Rosa Parks on a bus and I refused to give up my seat. "Granny, I think mommy is dying!" "Let her rest Catherine" They only thought that cause I kept saying "No! I wont give up!" Back to the clouds. Warm dog beside me on a cold night. Drifting thru lands I don't know. Colors I've seen but don't recognise. Swirling, dancing, dogs barking. Someone says "shhhh you'll wake her."

*spelling doesn't count with a temp this high bitches*

4 added lbs ‡ make me arph

Subject:	2009 is off to a gREAT start!
Time:	7:05 pm.
Mood:	indescribable.

Matt lost his job in Nov. Because of cut backs due to the economy. We got a severans package and we get paid till the end of this month. Our insurance ended yeasterday except were paying for Cobra so it will go on however long Cobra lasts or till he has a new job (hopefully before the cobra ends). I had two procedures on my back in December and one surgery. Gabby had dental sugery right before xmas to remove some adult teeth that were crowding he mouth. This month she is having surgery to remove her tonsils and adnoids. YAY! *sarcasm*
My two procedures cost about 5,000$ each and the surgery was 26,000$. My insurance is supposed to cove 80%. We got a bill saying they paid 800$ of that 26,000$ and we owe 25,200$. Ummm NO! That's CRAP! I'm sitting on this bill till the insurance and hospital are done fighting it out. 25,200$ MY ASS!
I have to wear a back brace now which will cost me 995$ because I haven't met my 1000$ deductable for this year. Thankfully the company sending me the brace will let me pay it out and the insurance company will consider my deductable paid except 5$ of it! YAY! At least that's a silver lining! So if I need anymore medical equipment (a wheelchair? lol) or more surgeries my deductable is met already. Awesomeness! I am super tired of all this stuff to be honest with you. I almost want to hire someone else to deal with it so I don't have to! Blah! I hear it only gets worse the older you get and I'm only 35! I cannot imagine things much worse than they are now. I really can't!

I hope you guys are all doin better with your 2009 so far. I miss LJ. I don't have a computer at all right now. Mine is fried and since no one has a job right now in my house that's low in priorities. When we need a comp Matt drives us to his moms house. Its annoying but at least we have one avalible to us to use.

I'm trying to stay positive. I'm horribly depressed right now cause I can't really do much because of my back and I haven't got a car. My neighbor takes me to do her errands with her so I can get out now and then. She's a blessing to me cause I'd be REALLY down without her. She has me over all the time for coffee and to just talk. She's amazing and I love her and am greatful for her more than I could ever tell her. She keeps me somewhat sane that's for sure!

Maybe I'll start feeling better once my back heals more? I hope so!

I really hope you guys are doing well. I miss everyone. *HUGS* Hope your 2009 goes well and you're all safe and happy! Hope to talk to you soon!

1 added lb ‡ make me arph

Subject:	Thank GOD!
Time:	10:31 pm.
Mood:	ecstatic.

"Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord."

Apr. 3, 1968
Memphis Tenn.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

A day later he was shot down. A sad sad day for all the world.

Tonight I'm actually FINALLY proud to be an American. I can hold my head high and say I'm PROUD to be an American! I'm PROUD to be part of a country who votes a black man named Barack Hussein Obama as president! A man with a muslim background (no he isn't now not that I even care cause I DON'T!). Thank GOD that you all have the brains to know that THIS is what we need.
THANK YOU ALL for standing by Barack and making him our leader!
Matt and I did a lot of campaigning and we couldn't be any more excited than we are RIGHT now. I feel exactly as I felt when Reagan said "Mr Gorbachev, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!" (its just a moment I'm super found of) Just really proud and hoping for all OUR old "walls" to FINALLY be gone too!
Thank you sooooo much everyone! Thank you thank you thank you!!!

*skips off into the night happier than she's been in a long time*

ETA: I was happy Barack also mentioned Reagans statement in his speech lol. Just a lil funniness to me :o)
Also... I'm sorry if you supported McCain and your guy didn't win. There was a time when I thought I may vote for him (when I thought it was to be McCain V Hillary lol). Then I changed my mind when I fell in love with Obama. I felt McCains choice of a VP would be the end of him. It was way too radical of a choice.
I am sorry to those of you who supported him and didn't get your choice.I really do believe with all my heart though that this is the right choice. That this man will lead us out of the darkness we've been in the last 8yrs. Can he do it in 4 or 8yrs though? Probably not but, he certainly will give it everything he has.
I pray that he stays safe and hatred doesn't spill out onto him. I pray that we DO finally know that we are all the same regardless of skin differences.

1 added lb ‡ make me arph

Subject:	Do you smell what I smell?
Time:	8:31 pm.
Mood:	and hot!!!.

If you've ever wondered what the aftermath of a hurricane smells like, I can tell you, it smells like burning gasoline. The gasoline used to fuel the generators that litter the lawns of all my neighbors... and their neighbors neighbors... and mine too.
Day 12 and no sign that Centerpoint is doing much of anything to correct 1.4 million people still without power. A third of this city doesn't have power. I think that's a pretty big damn deal.
Today was less humid (49% humidity) and I'm able to handle it better. I pray for tomorrow to be so kind. Even though the high was 89* it felt much cooler to me without the air being so thick. Thick and sticky! I'm SICK of sweating which I didn't do today so, I can be greatful for the break.
Estimated power restoration was Monday and since they didn't meet that deadline they added a new one of Thursday. Guess what they did today though? They moved that deadline to FRIDAY. I'll belive it when I see it! I have no faith that they will meet that deadline either. Their track record isn't so good.
Tonight I'll be able to sleep. With temps in the low 60s and FAR less humidity it will actually be pleasent.... aside from the mosquitos that is.
I grilled some pineapple for my lunch today. It was totally yummy. I recommend it to anyone grilling any time soon. I'll be grilling again tonight lol. I won't be having pineapple again though. Probably yet another round of hot dogs. YAY! *sarcasm*
My sister said she thinks the heat is getting to me. I'm acting "crazy" she said. I'm SUPER dehydrated so I probably AM "crazy." No matter how much I drink I just sweat it right back out. That's another reason I'm greatfull for the lower humidity. I actually think 95* would be ok if the humidity was this low. Its GLORIOUS weather! I envy those of you who live in less humid climates.
No I don't plan to move. Plenty of people live in Cali where earthquakes happen with the same frequency as these hurricanes. The difference is that we can leave before it hits but Cali has no warning. I wish there was a way to predict earthquakes though. Anyway, I'm not leaving because a storm hits here once every 25 years. That's kinda retarded to even consider. We'd have to buy a new house and everything. Matt would have to find a new job... its just not smart. I'm fine to live here and have a storm once in a long while. I only pray that NEXT TIME this city is actually prepared to fix the things that break. My hometown took a lesson from Rita and was super prepared and after the storm. They've already got 97% of allll their total customers, in their entire area including about 20 towns, back online with power, but not us nooooo!
UGH! I KNOW that I'm soooo damn pissy and "dooms day" lately but I can't help it. I'm SICK of living like this. As are the other 1.4 million right along with me. :o(
Just please pray that I (and everyone else) get power back SOON!
You should see the news stories. There was one lastnight about a guy that is "95 years young" and dealing with no power. Its sooooo sad! Lastnight was the first I've seen of TV. We hooked the cable box up to the generator and it ACTUALLY WORKED!!! Ohhhhh I was so EXCITED! TV!!! CIVILIZATION!!!! I'm happy for sure!
Thanks again for being supportive I really appreciat it oodles :o)

1 added lb ‡ make me arph

Subject:	10 days later
Time:	5:04 pm.
Mood:	hot.
Music:	Power saws in the distance.

We STILLLLL don't have power!!! Its been 10 days since Ike hit and they still haven't restored our electricity. I am one of exactly 100 people in my neighborhood who do not have thei power restored. Personally I think its complete and utter BULL SHIT! My mom, who lives in the middle of NO WHERE and my sister who lives way out, have power again. They had told them itd be 8weeks before they had power and they have it before me. I live right outside of downtown Houston. Its to the point of ridiculousness!
Matts company says they aren't going to give them any sort of makeup pay for not being able to go to work because they were without power. My sisters company, who isn't as good of a company as Matts, is giving her two weeks disaster pay. WALMART paid Matt a little disaster pay. But this multi-million $$ company isn't gonna do anything. OK they DID do ONE thing... they let Matt borrow a generator and gave him some gas for it. But, its not very big and won't run the AC. Its soooooooo friggen hot right now! I'm just sick and tired of being so hot and sweaty. My pants stick to me constantly, its REALLY annoying! Matt is back to work now (thank goodness cause we need the $$) so I don't get to get out of this heat during the day.
Mosquitos are TERRIBLE!!! Since we have the windows open (the windows that WILL open that is!) they are eating us alive! I'm hoping my dogs don't end up with heartworms because I haven't taken them to get their new supply of heartgard. Its been a couple of months since they've had it :o( I keep spraying them with spray hoping they won't get bitten. They also need some Comfortis and Advantage or at the VERY least just Advantage. I'd settle for even just some Sentinal. I feel like a bad pet owner. Since I don't have a car though I'm having a hard time getting them to see a vet. Hell, I have a hard enough time getting myself to the dr to get my triplicate refill RXs so that I don't end up in withdrawal and in the hospital.
Anyway I'm off track now. They told me I'd have power by the end of today..... we'll see. I'll believe it when I see it. Honestly I've got no hope of actually having power ever again. Am I being dramatic? Its STUPID! Fourth largest city in the entire US and I'm living like a HOMELESS person with a home. If we lived here with no power under any other situation the city would condem the house and deem it "unfit." Yet when its their fault (not really the city but Reliant/Centerpoint) its like no big damn deal. I'm just SICK of being sweaty!!!!!
My garbage man is the biggest piece of shit alive! This is the second week in a row he is CHOOSING not to pick up my trash. EVERYONE elses trash gets picked up. There is still debris everywhere its hard to put the trash can where there is NOTHING at all near it. He COULD pick it up. He just is too lazy to make the little tiny bit of extra effort to get it. What am I supposed to do with 3 weeks of garbage? I called our 311 hotline thing and bitched but those people don't care. She told me if there is debris and he "feels unsafe" he has a right to not pick it up. She actually told me to haul my trash down the street for him. UMMMM hello stupid ignorant piece of shit... I PAY a LOT for waste disposal and they need to actually DO IT. I should call and have them take it off my bill. In fact I think I will call and have them bring me another trash can since they aren't picking it up. I'm just REALLY frustrated with my city right now. There is a HUGE oak tree in the middle of the road (a few houses down) because they just aren't doing anything to remove any debris from the hurricane. I paid someone to remove the tree from my yard that was in the middle of the road. I'm fed up to here *puts my hand wayyyyyy over my head* FED UP!!!!!!
I hate being so whiney and complaining so much. I'm just soooo hot. I know I've already said that but its like 100* inside my house with those few windows open and at night even with a fan going its hard to sleep cause the fan is only pushing all that hot sticky air around. I can't use a blanket and I'm only wearing a wife beater shirt to bed. I'm constantly spraying myself down, with a mixture of ice water and alcohol, at night to get a lil cooler. All that does is end out making me even more sticky and hot lol. I had to throw out 100's of dollars worth of food because the power was off for so long. I lost EVERTHING (except my liquor) in my frige/freezer.
My truck got flooded so Imma see if maybe I can get money for it lol. I know it wasn't working before but ya... it would be nice, especially since Matts not getting any make-up pay. They did say he could borrow from his next years sick pay and vacation pay to help but, that's all they'll do.
OK, I'm sorry this is so long again. I'll try not to post such long posts but I'm really frustrated and need to vent. *hugs* Thanks again for "listening" to me whine and complain :o)

1 added lb ‡ make me arph

Subject:	Sorry its taken me so long to reply!
Time:	12:29 am.
Mood:	Depressed, worried, terrible!.
Music:	Static-y talk of AM radio.

Its REALLY hard to get an internet connection on my Sidekick right now. Everyone is hoging up the bandwith or whatever this technology is use for their internet.

Laurie,
Thank you so much. Really theres not much anyone who's not Centerpoint, Comcast, a gas station WITH gas AND electricity or FEMA, can do. That lady did leave with her babies so its all good :o) We go for drive in the car to stay cool. Sunday (I think it was sun cause everything is merging together now) it rained again and gave us a river in the front yard and the street in front of my house. So we couldn't get out till the water went back down. Its actually cold at night now YAY!!! Its 61* at night and 85ish* during the day. We still have high humidity but at least its cooler!
{{{{{Laur}}}}}

Doz,
After I asked "whoever is out there" to please spare me please please let my family be ok. I donno, I may have to rethink my prior religion. *shrug* Thanks for thinking/wishing me good thoughts though :o)
{{{{{DOZ}}}}}

Bri,
We go for drives and stay cool that way. Like I told Laurie though, its a lot cooler so we're ok with the heat situation. For now anyway lol. Thanks for the idea!
{{{{{Bri}}}}}

( Sorry I just decided to go on and on. Probablt cause I'm bored and REALLY depressed :o( )

4 added lbs ‡ make me arph

Subject:	I made it
Time:	11:52 pm.
Mood:	cranky.

We are fine. We lost a lot of tree limbs and our gorgeous Crape Myrtle that had been in our front yard for over 100 years. I'm really just sick about it. My father in law has told me he will buy me TWO new trees to plant in my front yard. I was really happy about that at least.
We have no power. It keeps coming on and all my neighbors scream and whoop and whatnot then it goes back out and I hear them all scream again but, in dissapointment this time.
Its really really hot and humid.I really just want a fan. One of my neighbors has a gernerator and I'm totally jealous. I tried to talk Matt into going out to buy a gernerator but he doesn't want to spend the money. I just heard on the radio that 20 THOUSAND people are without power in my tiny little zip code (77009). I really HATE the fact that it keeps coming on for like five mins and then something else blows and it goes right out again. If its gonna be off just STAY OFF and stop giving me false hope. They're telling us it could be WEEKS before our power comes back on for good. I'm HOTTTTTT! I'm just really a total BITCH when I'm hot. I feel really sorry for Matt cause he has to deal with me.
I have food like PB&J, bread, tuna and water so we aren't starving or anything. I got 2 bags of ice and two days before the storm hit I froze about 40 bottles of water then put them in a cooler with the ice. So at least I have cold drinks. These won't last forever though. My candles are also not going to last much longer. When I have no more candles I won't be able to see at night. My house is starting to get stinky because of the animals. They're sweating and smelling gross so the house is stinking. I just REALLY need some power to get some air circulation in here. I have my windows cracked a lil but I can't open the bottom half (my windows open from the bottom or the top) of my windows because my cats would get out thru the bottom. There is no wind anyway so its not gonna be cooler anyway.
You guys did such a good job praying for us to live thru it, I thought maybe you could pray for everyone to get power again. There are a lot of families who don't have a lot of money but have freezers and friges full of food that will, if not already, go bad soon. Some people have newborn babies (like my neighbors who have premie twins) with no power. There are elderly people who will have heat strokes if they don't get some cool air soon. I'm just really worried everyone will be without power for weeks and weeks like Centerpoint is telling us could be the case. Temps get near the 100s during the day with 95% humidity right now. Its just way too hot to live like this for any amount of time. Just please do some "power" praying for us.
Thanks everyone ;o)

6 added lbs ‡ make me arph

Subject:	Is it a Texas thing?
Time:	3:43 pm.
Mood:	curious.

We have this milk here called "Promised Land." It comes in glass bottles, is hormone free and used to be unpasteurized. The bottles used to have a paper/wax cap on it but they got plastic caps a few years ago. Stores used to take the used glass bottles back and give you 1$ per bottle. For some reason stores don't take the bottles back now... as far as I know. I wish they would cause I REALLY HATE throwing away so many good glass bottles that could be resterilized and used again. I'd give them back for free if there was a place that would take them. Also, Promised Land milk is, HANDS DOWN, the best milk in the world! The Midnight Chocolate Reduced Fat 2% Milk is the BEST choc milk in the universe! I find that when I take my Roxicodone with their choc milk it actually works better for me. I guess its because of the way the pills are metabolized with the fats or something in the milk. I have a glass of milk with a banana twice a day now. I'm actually losing weight and I'm not ever hungry or "hungry." I know that makes no sense to anyone but me lol. On the back of the bottle there is a bible verse... "He Brought us to this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey. Deuteronomy 26:9" We also have a pie company called Edwards that puts scripture on the bottom of the pie tins. Is that not the most bizarre thing? Do other states have food with scriptures on it? Is this just a Texas thing?

7 added lbs ‡ make me arph

Time:	9:46 pm.
Mood:	shocked.

My neighbors dog just got run over right in front of me. The neighbor was out in her yard talking with our other neighbors. Her dog ran in the street (after her ball I think) and a car just smashed right into her. The neighbor screamed, we all ran to Molly (the dog). Lucky for Molly I could only find lacerations on her paw. I felt no broken bones (except maybe her 2nd toe right front paw) and no back/neck injuries. I'm sure they will xray. Her color was fine and she drank. She wasn't in shock or going into shock. I hope she's ok. I was so fucking scared. I'm still shaking. I've seen plenty of emergencies but its never been a dog I know so well. I tried really hard not to cry because I get so upset when they hurt. Often at work I'd have to not cry because it hurts me to see any animal in pain. I miss all my regular patients. I'll not get to see Stumpy die. He is a cat I treated every day for renal failure. I found a huge lump on his jaw the dr totally overlooked cause she didn't care which turned out to be (as I'd told the dr) a bigas sarcoma. I love Stumpy and I'll miss him. Maybe its good I won't have to see him die. I'm attached after a year of seeing him nearly every day. I hate those bitches at work. All the clients always told Page (the office manager) how much they loved me and how they knew their animals felt comforted by me. Its the one thing I know that's good about me. Animals love me and trust me. Freddy always just left those slip on leashes on the dogs and they'd twist on n get tighter and tighter and I'd BEG him to PLEASE not leave those on the dogs. He's scared of being bitten and that's why he woulldnt take them off. I've been bitten three time by a dog in my life and not once was it because I was helping them. All three times were German Shephards and all three times I was little and they just decided biting me would be fun. I donno. I wanna be Cesar Millan and like help people understand dogs and help dogs with whatever bothers them. I have no qualifications for that though. Anyway I'm rambling now.

make me arph

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